Three Months....

Has it really been 3 months already? Looking at the calendar, yes. Looking at the huge void in my horse life feels like longer.

I'm not really feeling the urge to ride, although I do have a "new" mount to ride. It's just not the same. I miss going into his pasture, calling his name and seeing him trotting up to me, knowing that he was either getting treats, scritches, pampering or work. I miss his calm demeanour. I just plain miss him. 

Although riding the "new" mount is OK, it's not what I really do, it's more of a favor to someone. It's not the same when it's not your heart horse. :( Don't worry. This "new" mount isn't mine, just riding her for someone else. I know I'm not ready to get another one. My brain says yes, it would be a good healing process. My heart says no, it would just be too painful now.

I will start the search in a couple years (hopefully have a couple acres by then), but right now?

I miss you Old Man :(

The Custom Order is Here!!

Remember when I had posted about ordering a custom stuffed pony of Dollar just before he died?

IT'S HERE!!!!!

Finally got it in the mail after 3 weeks of waiting (thank you US Postal Service for shutting down some of your sorting centres. Makes getting things to Canada take waaaayyy too long).

Of course when I got home, I ripped it open, admired it and then gave it to V to take some pictures.

Thank You SO MUCH Lucky Hare

Moving On.....

A couple more updates....

Since it's been 2 weeks since Dollar passed, I finally decided to start packing up all my horse stuff (except for my saddles and saddle pads) and put them into storage. Luckily I don't have a whole lot, so it will be easy to clean up and store in the big Rubbermaid container I have. Everything will be going in there except for my saddles, just in case I can find a horse to ride. But my bridles, brushes, wraps, etc. will be going away. :(

I can't remember if I had mentioned this before, but I won't be getting another horse anytime soon. Dollar was my heart horse for 18 years and it will take a very special horse to take his place. I know I'm not ready for another horse (as much as I ask my Hubby), and that it will take time. Also, since my daughter is under a year old, it really doesn't make sense for me to get another horse. She is my first priority right now and I need to make sure that I'm there for her when she needs me (and any other kids we have). I'm thinking that maybe in 3-5 years I'll be able to get another horse. We live in town right now, so even if I would get another horse, I'd have to find a barn and pay board. Not really my type of thing. We are looking at selling our house in 2 years and buying some acreage, so if everything pans out, I'll be able to have my horse in my backyard again.

And since this blog will remain as a memorial to Dollar, I started up a new blog over at Adventures with Horses to journal/chronicle anything horse related that I do, and when the time comes, the search for a new horse. Feel free to follow the adventures!!

Visitng the Grave

My Mom had decided earlier in the week that she wanted to see where Dollar was buried and had asked a couple days after letting him go if I could show her where he was buried. Sure, why not?

And the Pet Cemetery even called on Monday saying that Dollar's headstone was being made, but they had a quick question. I had put his 2 names on there, Cee Kay Sash (his registered name) and Dollar (his barn name). They didn't have enough room to put both, so would it be OK if they just put his registered name on there? Sure, although now in hind-sight, I should've told them to put Dollar on there as that's how everyone knows him by. Oh well. Not really a big deal.

So my Mom picked me and V up after she was done work and headed out to the Pet Cemetery. The drive down there didn't seem as long this time, and I wasn't as nervous going there either. I had even picked up some (fake) flowers for Dollar's grave, just to make it look prettier for my Old Man.

And my Mom is weird. On the way down there (we were about 2 miles out from the Pet Cemetery), my Mom had asked why the back-hoe operator closed everything up by himself. The following is the conversation we had (italics are me):

So why'd the back-hoe guy close it up by himself?
Because that's what he does and I didn't want to see my horse get buried. Not really the last images of my horse that I want.
Well, how do you know that he didn't bring Dollar somewhere else?
(Now I'm looking stupidly at her)
Really? There is only 1 road in and out of there and a deep ditch to get to the gravel road. We were on the other side of the bush paying for everything and I heard the back-hoe start up and start working. I didn't pay good money to have my horse buried for nothing.

I swear sometimes, my Mom has completely lost her marbles (or wait, she has).

Anyways....once we pulled into the Pet Cemetery, we drove through the bush, parked and found Dollar's grave quickly. Not too hard when there's a big pile of sand over where his grave is. Mom looked after V while I too the flowers to Dollar's grave, brushing off some of the sand that had fallen on there. I took some pictures of his headstone (everything was spelled correctly! Yeah!) and put the flowers in the sand, and told him how much I missed him. :(

Good part?? I didn't bawl. Proud of myself for that one :).

Sigh...I miss you so much Old Man.

Good-Bye Old Man...

I did not want today to happen at all. I was hoping that it was just a really, really bad dream in which I would wake up, realize that I wasn't losing the best horse ever and continue to keep on riding him.
Unfortunately, today was not a dream. It was reality. And to have reality bite me in the butt, Dr. Brad texted me this morning (around 11) asking if we could move the appointment up to 4:30 as the back-hoe digger had a wedding rehearsal to go to. Sure, why not......

I spent the day in a haze, dropped V off at my sister's place (a euthanizing and burial is no place for a 7-month old baby) and headed over to my Dad's place to load Dollar in the trailer one last time. And I could tell that he was ready to go when I grabbed him from the pasture. He wasn't picking fights anymore with Jack or Buster (the 2 new youngsters) and the spark was gone from his eyes. And he could tell that something was up, because he hesitated going into the trailer, as if he knew that he wasn't coming home again. Once I got him in the trailer (with some coaxing), I headed back to my place in town to wait for Hubby to get home and then head on our way.

While we were waiting for Hubby, I combed out his tail, braided it, and chopped it off just below the tail bone. I do want to make something out of it (probably a bracelet and necklace) in the near future. I also gave him an apple which he wasn't too keen about. That hit it home for me, he always loves his apples, but if he's turning them down, somethings up and not right.

Once Hubby got home, we hopped in the trailer and headed off. I was hoping to be there a bit early and let him have some nice green grass before everything was ripped away from me. Unfortunately, while I did look at the map on the website, the Highways Department has since changed all road signs from names to numbers. So I accidentally passed the road that I needed to turn down, but hooked up with the "gravel highway" that would take us there. But because the road names got changed to numbers, I wasn't sure what road I was looking for. So I called up Dr. Brad and asked him which road number I needed. He told me Road 37, so I checked around there, but no pet cemetery (there is a sign saying where it is). So I called him back again, and he said that he had given me the wrong road, it was actually Road 35. I told him to stay where he was and I'd meet up with him. Took me not even 5 minutes to get to him and then pull into the Pet Cemetery.

Made our way up the grass drive-way and then parked in a grassy area. The drive-way to go to the cemetery goes through the bush and I wasn't sure if my trailer would fit down there and just would walk Dollar down there. And it was a nice last walk, through the bush. I wasn't looking forward to what was going to be happening, but I knew that it was the right decision.

Once we got to where Dollar's grave is, Dr. Brad directed us where he wanted him and got everything ready while I gave him the last of the carrots that I had brought for him. Once Dr. Brad had everything ready, he gave Dollar a light sedative to take the edge off. And my horse was a cheap date. Dr. Brad gave him a small dose of sedative and Dollar had one knee almost buckled and was slightly swaying. Cheap date. Then Dr. Brad gave him the 2 needles while I held him until he started going down, then I let go of him. And all I could say to Dollar while he was getting his injections was that I was so sorry I had to do this. Once he started going down, I let go of his halter and Keith just wrapped his arms around me while I bawled.

Once he was gone, Dr. Brad took off his halter and lead rope and gave them back to me. I was still bawling and Dr. Brad said that he'd meet me up at the trailer so that we could pay for the burial and euthanization. We paid for everything, thanked Dr. Brad for his services and then turned the truck around. And then Keith heard a hissing noise coming from my back right tire. I took a look at it and noticed a gash in the tire. Urg! Luckily the guys who work for the people who own the cemetery were still there and said that we could go down to their place which was a mile down the road. We asked them if we would make it and they said if we left now, we would. So me and Keith hopped in the truck (with a very empty and lonely trailer) and headed down to their place.

The guys changed the tire pretty quickly, although we learnt to never borrow a mechanics truck as they never have what you need. Urg. We thanked them for their help and got back in the truck. But the truck decided not  to start. FML!! So the guys came back with an industrial booster, hooked up my truck for a couple minutes and then I got it started. We thanked the guys yet again and then headed home. Keith had offered to drive the truck and trailer home, but I told him that I would be OK to drive.

Got the truck back to my Dad's without any further problems and told him that I hated his truck. Then went to pick up V at my sister's place, who apparently was a complete angel and slept for 2 hours with Uncle Brett. Then while I was getting her ready for bed, I heard her say "I Love You" in the baby mumble jumble. Aww...

My hubby is the bestest though. When we got home and after I had nursed V, Keith got a nice hot tub ready for me so that I could soak and decompress after the events of today. And then he had a cup of tea made for me while I played Super Mario on the Wii with Violet.

And to top it off, remember the custom pony I ordered? Well the lady posted the finished product on FaceBook and said that she would be shipping it Monday morning. I'd say that's a good way to end my day.

Sigh, I miss you so much Old Man.......

Happy 20th Birthday Dollar!

My Old Man turns 20 today! Crazy to think that I've had him for 18 years already.

So in true birthday fashion, I gave him a bucket full of treats, a good grooming, took tons of photos (almost 200 I think), took V for a ride and gave him his last bath.

Enjoy the photos :)

Left front

Left back

Right back

Right front

Yes I know his feet look horrible. Thank you dry, dry weather and almost no rain. You turn my horses feet to crap. :(

All shiney!!

Mine and V's last ride on Dollar

Somber Updates :(

So a couple updates....

The original plan for burying Dollar was to do it on my Dad's property. But a couple things came up. We need a back-hoe to dig a grave, his skid-steer can only dig to 3 feet. Oops. It's also highly illegal to bury big animals on your yard. And since my Dad is trying to sell the place, if someone buys it and finds out that there is a horse buried there, my Dad is up a creek without a paddle.

I talked to the local Pet Cemetery, Pansy Pet Cemetery about burying Dollar. They do have lots for horses and gave me the cost of $350 to have him buried there. That includes the back-hoe digging and burying and a head plate for his name, birthday and died date. And I can also have him euthanized there, so that saves a lot of headaches.

And then I talked to the vet last night (actually he texted me first) about euthanizing Dollar. He confirmed for this Friday (June 8) and gave me the costs. Yikes! Looking at $250 for the entire thing, but that includes the procedure, his travel cost to the Pet Cemetery and the after hours/emergency fee that he charges for weekends.

But at least I'll know where he's buried and be able to visit him there. And Keith pointed out something that I didn't think of. As Dad is trying to sell the house/property and possibly not have anywhere for the horses to go, Keith said that maybe this is an easier way to let Dollar go, rather than having the above mentioned happen and possibly have to give him away again. Good point hubs. :)

T minus 4 days until there's a hoof-sized hole in my heart.........

Custom Order!!

When I found out that I'd have to put Dollar down, I started looking at ways that I could have some keepsakes of him, mostly for me and also for V who would be too young to remember him (she's only 7 months old). Through Kelly, I found this site on FaceBook called Lucky Hare. She does orders only on FaceBook, but that was OK. She makes stuffed ponies that look wayy too cute and also does personalized/custom ones of horses that you have.

I sent her a message on FaceBook today asking if she would be able to make me Dollar. She was also having a 25% off sale because she got a whole ton of new fabric in. Unfortunately the first choice of fabric that I wanted (Zebra print) was sold out very quickly, so I opted for my second choice

Yes, I know it looks odd (and maybe a bit weird), but I love it! And she threw in the embroidery for free! She said it should be done by the end of the week and shipped early next week. Can't wait!!

Tentative Date

Just got off the phone with my vet and made a tentative date for Dollar to be put down. June 9 is the dreaded day.

Why does it have to be so soon??

Picture Spam!!!!

I've been down to visit Dollar at least once, if not twice a week. Of course I'd love to go visit him more, but something about having a 7-month old kinda puts a kink in things.

Oh, and we're trying to figure out how to tell the Brody and Madison (the nephew and niece) about Dollar being put down. The simplest answer: he's gone to see Jesus. Basically to my 4-year-old nephew, anything that dies goes to see Jesus. I'll take that :) 

So in true picture spam fashion, here is a couple whack load of photos from the past couple weeks in no particular order.

Mars leading Dollar to me.

Brody leading Dollar into pasture for me.

Brody having a "discussion" with Dollar about leading :)

Brody trying to catch Dollar for me :)

Ok, you see where all the grain is by the fence, right? And look where he is. That's how far he dragged his treat bucket, once step at a time, and while I was grooming him.

A small little ride out to his pasture :)

The Phat One trying to hide in the trees :)

My Horse is Odd....

Since making the decision to put him down, I've been going out to see Dollar a bit more. And I think he's enjoying the bonus attention, but also likes to make me pull my hair out and make me sad at the same time.

When I went down there on Monday to see him for a couple minutes (I had V with me and nobody was home), I put V in the house while she was sleeping and went into the pasture to see him. Now Dollar is pretty content in pasture, but when he saw me, he started ambling his was back to the gate because in his train of thought, when Mom shows up, it's time to work. He did let me pet him a little bit, before marching off toward the gate and just standing there waiting for me and basically going, "Mom's here, work time!" I felt so bad telling him that he no longer has to work. He looked a bit dejected :(

Eating trees

My Old Man leading the way to the gate, followed closely by Mars

Then, when I went down today, I was with my niece and nephew, so they came with me to get him from the pasture and bring him up to the barn so that I could pamper him a bit. He seemed to enjoy that, and also toted the kids around a little bit. At least I can take solace in the fact that my Old Man can still haul the kids around, even if it's not real work for him.

What To Do...

Well, since the decision was made about Dollar, I've been humming and hawing over what to do with all my tack. I have 2 saddles (1 Western and 1 English), 2 bridles (Western and English), grooming tools, halters, etc.

I talked with Keith and decided to keep all my tack. I may look into getting another horse in a couple years (when I don't have a little kid(s) demanding all my time) and that way I don't have to re-buy all my stuff and spend a whack-load of money.

Sigh. And now everyone is having their spring sales and as much as I want to go a buy stuff for Dollar, I know it's pointless. Sheesh. Why does this have to be so hard??

Oh, and for this blog. I've decided to leave it up as a memoriam to Dollar and (maybe) start up a different horse blog for any that I ride and any possible future horse.

Not Good News (And Why I Spent the Day Crying)

So I got some not good news from my Dad today about Dollar. He had the vet down sometime last week to pull wolf teeth on the youngsters and had him check out Dollar because it seems as though his Heaves are getting worse. Well, the vet checked him, had Sam jog him in hand, and checked him again. Turns out that he only has about 1/4 of his lungs left to use (the tail end of his lungs), the rest has totally congealed (basically turned to meat) and that I'd probably have to put him down by summer-time, otherwise he might not make it through summer.

Sigh. Not the news I wanted to hear, ande especially not now. I was hoping that he'd make it at least until 25 and that V would be able to ride him. I felt so bad for him and I know it's selfish of me, but part of me really wants to keep him around. The other (logical) part of me knows that it's time for him to go, that he's lead a good life and needs to be free of his pain.

Luckily Hubs was there when my Dad told me this, and while I was crying away, he just looked at me and told me to saddle up Dollar. Which at first didn't make sense to me as I had just ridden him before getting this news, but then it clicked it. He was gonna let me take V for her first ride on Dollar.

So needless to say, I went back into the pasture to get him, with the niece and nephew following me and calling for him. He didn't seem impressed that he'd have to work again, but still came and let my niece ride him back to the barn.

Put my Western saddle on him, hopped on and then got V on with me. And off we went....
Dollar just walked ever so slowly while I held V as we rode. Sigh. Just tearing up looking at the video again. Dollar did awesome with her (duh, when is he not awesome?!?!) and even backed up and spun with her. Such a good Old Man.

Me and Keith decided later in the evening that we'll wait until after his 20th birthday in June to put him down. I know it's selfish, but I want him to see his 20th before he goes to greener pastures. I basically spent the rest of the evening in tears.

So not ready for this....

Easter Ride (Somewhat)

We went down to my Dad’s for supper and got there early enough that I could get a quick ride in on Dollar. So I made sure that V was fed and then ran to the back to get in a quick ride. Gave him a quick grooming, tacked up, hopped on and did some work at the walk/trot with some collection and bending in there to mix it up for him. I tried to get him to canter a bit, but he was dragging his lazy but, so I decided not to push for it. He was being really willing, so I was just happy with that. After I was done riding, I gave Madison a ride and had to bargain with her to get her off. She’d stay on her horse all day if she could.

Once I got her off, I decided to do some ground work with Dollar, making him do his showmanship stuff, but without me holding him. And good thing I had my crop with me as he needed some reminders about what I was asking him to do and being stubborn about it. He was being lazy when I asked him to jog beside me, but after a “reminder” all of a suddenly we remembered what we were supposed to be doing. Same thing with the pivoting. After a couple minutes of doing this, I had him beside me (without me holding him), going up and down the arena, doing what I was doing, when I asked him to do it. Yeah!

Good Citizen Pony Training has commenced. J

Teaching The Young Guy

Another beautiful day to go riding. Keith was working overtime again and had the car, so Sam came to pick up me and V so that I could go ride Dollar and V could spend some time with Poppa.

The Old Man showing off his 'hawk.

Got to the house, dropped V off inside and then went to go ride the Old Man. I realized that I had forgotten my saddle pad at home so I just grabbed one of the Western pads for today. Brushed Dollar up as best I could, but he’s starting to shed like a mad man. Which is a good thing, but he’s got a lot of hair! Got him tacked up while Sam was tacking up Buster, Natalie’s new horse. He’s quite good looking, just needs a lot of ground work done and today would be his first day out on the road to see how he does. Sam had a couple issues with getting him ready because he wasn’t trained to stand tied, but once he got over that, we mounted up and went on our way down the road. Luckily this time there were no kids asking to pet the horses, so we didn’t have to stop and go.

Buster hadn’t been near cars at all, so we stopped when the first couple passed us just in case he freaked out. But as our ride progressed, he got better with each passing car. Except for one truck that zoomed past us and made Buster jump to the side, but otherwise he was well behaved. We even got both of them jogging for a ½ mile. Dollar thought I was trying to kill him. He was wheezing again, but he had an energetic trot, so I know he has energy and it was just the damn heaves acting up. We ended up doing a lot of walking, but it was good for both horses.

Proof I rode :)

Sam on Buster.

Once we were back home, I worked Dollar for a couple minutes in the coral before untacking him and putting him away.

Getting Into Boot Camp

Seeing as it’s totally GORGEOUS outside, I decided that Dollar (and myself) would benefit from going on a good ride. I had talked to my Dad earlier in the week to make sure that someone was home to watch V while I was out riding and he said that he’d watch her. Yeah!

I got there around 4 so that I could feed V and get Dollar ready to ride. Well once V was fed and sleeping (hopefully), I made my way outside to get Dollar groomed and tacked up so that when my Dad got home, I’d be able to go ride right away. Dollar was more than happy to see me and managed to get him out of the holding pen without letting Mars loose. And boy, was my horse a mess! And he’s pretty good at deceiving me as to how dirty her is. His left side was pretty clean, except for the odd mud patch, but his entire right side was covered in mud. Agh! Horse! I cleaned him up and then noticed that he had torn a huge chunk of mane out, and so I decided that his entire mane was coming off. So I grabbed my scissors and proceeded to chop it all off. And yes, I was giggling the entire time. And the thing is, it actually looks good on him. Yeah! Then I proceeded to clean up his tail (which wasn’t too bad) and trim the bottom off. And was excited to find out that his tail had grown out!

Mane here....

Mane gone....

Once he was all cleaned up, I tacked him up and then went inside to check on V (who was still sleeping) and kill some time until Sam and my Dad showed up. Dad had Brody with him, so he was going to watch both kids while me and Sam took a 2-mile ride. Sam got Mars ready while I put Dollar’s bridle on and then we went on the road. And had to laugh at Mars for freaking out at the For Sale sign, while Dollar totally ignored it. Lol.

The only thing I have about riding on the road is the amount of kids that come up to us (sometimes yelling), going “Horse! Horse!” And then the asking to pet them and ask a million questions. I don’t mind the timid kids because they’re usually unsure about the horses and Dollar’s good for kids like that. But it’s the ones who are extremely loud and don’t even ask before petting him. Those ones irk me. And we ran into the second group. Oh grr me. I was nice and let them pet Dollar, but after a while Mars was getting impatient, so we told the kids goodbye and went on our way. But of course, kids have to be kids and ride their bikes right behind and beside the horse, Sam got after them for that and then they left. Sheesh. 

Once the bikes were cleared, we got both the Old Guys trotting (more like prancing for Mars) for a mile. I was quite impressed with Dollar as he wasn’t wheezing much and had some get up and go. While we were trotting, I had Dollar working on his collection and stretching out his head. Of course he was more than willing to and stretched his head as far down as possible and just kept going. Silly horse. We ended up walking that last half mile home so that Mars could calm down and Dollar could get his breath back.

When we got back home, I untacked Dollar and Sam kicked Dollar and Mars back into the holding pen while I went inside to check on V. She was crying a bit when I walked in, but Dad said she just started that, otherwise she was fine.

Hoping for nice weather to keep on coming so that I can ride!!

In Which We Find The Spunk

Finally got out to ride again today! Seeing as Keith was at work in the evening, I packed up V around 4 and headed down to my parents place so that my Mom could watch her while I rode.

Once I made sure that V was content with Grandma, I grabbed my bridle and new saddle pad from the car and headed to the back. Dollar's all by himself in the holding pen now as Dad's new horse Jack is at a barn for training, Sam's horses are at her new place and Natalie's horse is at a different barn for training. So needless to say Dollar was pretty happy to see me as you can see in the video..




Once I got him out of the holding pen, I brought him up to the barn and got him quickly tacked up. I threw away my old saddle pad (the one that mice had gotten into) and put my new saddle pad on him. Yup, purple still looks good.

The old saddle pad that mice had gotten into

Dollar showing off his new saddle pad

Once we were all ready to go, I had to climb the fence in order to hop on to him. I still hurt if I stretch too much and I don't have a mounting block, so the fence comes in handy. He behaved like the perfect gentleman he is and stood completely still while I mounted. Whew.

We went to the far end of the arena again, set our circle and got to work. My goal was to work his walking and jogging as cantering is out of the question because of all the snow and I don't want to risk slipping on ice hiding under the snow. Oh, and I also remembered to grab my crop this time. It came in handy.

As we worked the walking and trotting, he did pretty good. He did realize that I had my crop, so he was a little more energetic in his movements, which is good for him. But then we ran into an issue. I had asked him to move into a trot again from a walk and he was being lazy about it. So I asked him again, a little more firmer. Nothing. So I swatted him with my crop. Next thing I know, his head goes down, and his butt goes up, snorting while doing so, and then moves into a trot, not looking very pleased.

And this is my brain: C'mon, move Old Man *swat*......HEY, YOU BUCKED ON ME!!!

Luckily it wasn't anything big, and he just kept moseying on afterwards. And nothing happened to me (lucky). I had barely became unseated, so I just hunkered my butt down, gave him a scolding (and laughing in my head) and went about our business. Guess he just wanted to show me that he still had spunk left.

After that little incident, I set him to work, doing quite a bit of trotting and working our halts, reverse and turns. This is where he was just showing off for me, probably just sucking up. Lol.

I ended the ride after about 30 minutes of working and he wasn't even sweating yet. But then again, it's been really beautiful here right now. Barely any snow for middle of February in Central Canada. But it does work well for riding right now.

And I'm still surprised as to what my Old Man can pull off. He'll be 20 this summer and still manages to act like he's 5 some days. Oh well, that's why I love him.